Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Pushing Your Sprog to the Top of the Achievement Pile and Getting it into the Real World ASAP

So little Bunty-Jane or Darren-Chardonnay is showing signs of being a bit cleverer than all the other chavs in his/her class (isn't yours always cleverer than all the others?) so you want to make sure he/she gets on in life. What life skills does the brat need, what'll help her/him clamber to the top of the pile (and leave home before you succumb to premature senile dementia)? Well it ain't going to be finger skills on PS2 or familiarity with the musical keys of Pink Floyd pop songs. It ain't going to drive (no fuel) and life's going to be harder (but much better) than he/she's used to.

A start is to think about what jobs are going to be around in 30 years time. I asked John Smith of Crackytown University what the current views are of our top academic non-chavs. The results are below.

Ten Jobs with no future

Lorry Driver
Advertising executive
Garage attendant
Merchant banker
politician
beautician
accountant
TV producer
Nuclear physicist
Astronaut

Eleven jobs with a great future

Tram Driver
Farrier
Storyteller
Organic Farmer
Cycle repairer
Carpenter
Handyman/woman
Teacher
Thatcher
Steam engine driver
Nurse

6 comments:

Trinity said...

Only if the brat passes it's SATs is any of that possible!
I'm surprised Train Driver is at the bottom of that list. But I guess only so many people can drive the train. I'd prefer to be the whistle puller really or maybe a DJ's bitch?
You reckon we'll need DJ's?
x

Peak Oil Dreams said...

Dunno about DJs. They tend to rely a bit on high tech, and of course a big pointless and bland 'music'-making industry - unlikely survivors post Peak Oil.

But I can see live music making a huge comeback. I see masses of weekend events all over the country with amateur musicians trying to outdo each other, drink flowing until the early hours and hopefully all outside.

I think there'll still be room for bitches ... but no bling (except for the odd silver moon pendant).

Trinity said...

silver moon pendants (that people have worn FOREVER.... well 4 weeks) are very odd.

Trinity said...

ummmmm hey you. Where are nurses on that list? You reckon people aren't gong to be sick? Stuppo.
Everyone will get bloated kidneys post oil.

Peak Oil Dreams said...

Well, there won't be as much sickness about what with everyone living healthier and less stressed lives, but I suppose there'll still be nurses, even if they are reduced to doing strippagrams or appearing on Adult Blockbusters.

Trinity said...

Was that your heroine Margaret Thatcher?