Thursday, May 25, 2006

naturists and naturalists - clearly not the world we want ...

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Ageless naturist Gail Bush, a 55 year old woman who sunbathed nude IN HER OWN GARDEN was found not guilty of indecent exposure by a court in Wales. You can read the story in all the papers.

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The bits I found interesting were the comments by her socialist neighbour, Jacaranda Illness, an 'upstanding' citizen, who on seeing the lady 'parading' IN HER OWN GARDEN excitedly grabbed his video camera to film her. One can only guess why! In his defence he waffled 'I have been extremely shaken by this incident. It has been very upsetting and worrying. I don't want to bring up my children in such an environment'. (Well fuck off back to Russia then! Ed)

Fellow traveller, his solicitor Daniella Christ, also waffled 'I may be prudish but it's not normal to sunbathe in the nude.' Duh? It's 2006 missy, not 1906. Queen Victoria is dead and probably a bit decomposed. We all do it these days, even the pope!

On hearing that he'd lost his case, Mr Illness muttered, 'We're absolutely heartbroken by the result. This woman has been making our lives a misery. Now I'm off home to drink a pint of Fairtrade cream sherry and watch a video'.

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Meanwhile ageing naturalist David Attenborough (left above) has just discovered what the rest of us have known for years - that global heating is threatening the entire planet. He has been busy flying around the world in his fleet of private jets, crossing the Antarctic on his pimped-up snowmobile and driving the streets of the world's capitals in his stretch limo buying fur and filming animals eating each other, and 'sort of missed it.'

Never one to miss a (very late) bandwagon, Sir David has now made two films telling the rest of us what we've known for years, whilst smirkily muttering platitudes over pictures of melting ice and persistent drizzle. They are being shown on the BBC.

Sir David has said that he will donate the profits from the two programmes to the David Attenborough Charity, which aims to provide him and close members of his family with secure wind and solar powered houses in the upper reaches of Montana.

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