civilized solstice

So like the good Pagan I am I decided to celebrate the Summer Solstice in my own way, by driving past on the A303 (on a crystal meth run for the Asba bwoys in Brixton Deverill) five hours after it all happened. There were signs of the big event, bollards along the verges, the odd crusty, green flourescent jackets on the hillside and no bloody tourists around the stones! 

the joy of pets

Don't tell Trin, but cats are vile.

A few days ago I noticed a smell in my lounge, not that unusual an occurence, but this was BAD. I tried dosing it with Lonsdale deodorant and opening the window and not breathing, but it just got worse and worse. I have a scheduled biennial rent check this week (now cancelled) so I thought I'd actually run a duster over the place and in the course of this I pulled out the settee where the smell seemed to be coming from. I'd half expected a decaying mouse, but never expected to find the above, a big old fuck off rat. At least he wasn't maggoty! I'm a bit squeamish - though nowhere near as bad as a townie - so carefully picked him up by his tail and tried to chuck him over next door's garden. Unfortunately on the way over the sheer weight of him and the inexorable pull of gravity meant that he collided with a leylandii and slid down the trunk (surprisingly gracefully) and back into my garden. I thought I'd take a picture of him lying at the bottom all peaceful and hope that his posthumous fame on this blog will be some compensation for his sad demise. Messages of condolence are more than welcome.

I imagine what happened is that one of my elderly but sprightly and fascist cats surprised the fellow, brought him in alive, let him go for a play, then lost interest. Meanwhile Ratty, dazed and confused and a little put out hid behind the settee waiting for the cat/s to go out. Which they obviously never did. And with access to just a few mouldy old Love Hearts, an off Fudge, 3 half-eaten Froggoes (best before 05/01/03) and a dead spider he sadly passed away from thirst and hunger (and boredom).

Nature raw in tooth and claw - and coming to a front room near you. 

village fayre

We had our annual village fayre today, attended by over a million people, most of whom arrived in this bubble car. Opened by Lord Bath, who looked lovely in orange and mauve, it included world-class attractions like a tractor pull, a cake stall and a 'Shoot-the-Brownie' dead range.

These mysterious buildings appeared overnight at the edge of the field, and vanished in an equally mysterious fashion just as the fayre ended.

This was world-famous DJ Brassey Digger's magnificent DJ box alongside the beer tent. He played a stupendous three hour long set that took amazed fayregoers onp a temporal and geographical trip around the musical world of the last forty years, playing gems like Attwenger, BavaRio and Joy Division between crowd pleasers from the Arctic Monkeys, Kaiser Chiefs, Gnarls Barkley and the Wurzels.

An ominous mammatus sky, often a portent of funnel clouds and tornadoes, was a load of hot air, quickly dissipating over the show ground as the sweat from over half a million dancers caused a micro-climatic disturbance that was, frankly, disturbing .... 

walnut whippets

Trin took me along to 'Whippet Pride 2006', the UK's premier 'all-things-whippet' show, at Westonbirt Arboretum. This was the queue for the muzzle stand, where things got quite heated as a rumour spread around the site that the muzzles were almost all sold.



These are typical 'whippeteers', the man one is distinctly cool with his 'fag' whilst the woman one displays a small tease of arse cleavage. Both had travelled the 5000 miles from Bolton by canal barge, but didn't realise until they reached the show that their whippets had drowned after falling overboard on a sharp bend near Chorlton-cum-Hardy.



This was the main arena, where popsters 'Embrace' thrilled the crowd with eighteen songs about whippets and associated breeds, including 'Pimp my Muzzle', 'I Bet That You Look Good on the Show Floor' and 'I Predict a Puppy'.



Star guests were the Four Tops, showing off their flash new show suits and finely-honed physiques. Singer Bud Chanterelle's bitch Honey won the 'Pup the Judge Would Most Want to Take Home With Him' class whilst drummer 'Sticks' Gayguy and bitch 'Serena' won the 'Best Six Legs' class. 

Forlawn ...

This is what happens to a lawn if you don't cut it for three months!



After about three hours in the terrible heat this is how it looked.



Next job - the back lawn!